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⋙ Download Gratis Heuer Lost and Found A B Funkhauser 9781625262042 Books

Heuer Lost and Found A B Funkhauser 9781625262042 Books



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Download PDF Heuer Lost and Found A B Funkhauser 9781625262042 Books

Unrepentant cooze hound lawyer Jürgen Heuer dies suddenly and unexpectedly in his litter-strewn home. Undiscovered, he rages against God, Nazis, deep fryers and analogous women who disappoint him. At last found, he is delivered to Weibigand Brothers Funeral Home, a ramshackle establishment peopled with above average eccentrics, including boozy Enid, a former girlfriend with serious denial issues. With her help and the help of a wisecracking spirit guide, Heuer will try to move on to the next plane. But before he can do this, he must endure an inept embalming, feral whispers, and Enid’s flawed recollections of their murky past. Winner Best Horror, Preditors & Editors 2015 Medalist Winner “Horror,” New Apple EBook Awards 2016

Heuer Lost and Found A B Funkhauser 9781625262042 Books

There’s a sense of detachment to be found in people who deal with the deceased. Life, though, is not without its upheavals as long as one remains within its bounds. So how do you deal with the application of a spicy story to such resigned protagonists? Enter, Ms. Funkhauser with her masterpiece.
To put things in perspective, let us consider a phone call to a funeral house early in the story. It begins with the line: “This is Werner Heuer, Herr Forsythe. My wife and I have need of your services today. My son is dead.” Now consider the sentiment of Mr. Forsythe on the other end, depicted a few lines later: Charlie, calculating profit after disbursements, felt better already.
The author’s mastery begins with the very element she chooses to play with to pacify the contrast in her story - time. She opens the door at the universally agonizing hour of 9 AM on a Monday, then begins to step back, before we’re suddenly flung back to Day One: Postmortem - 15 minutes on. The only constant from then on is subtle versions of time-swing that soaks us in.
It is fascinating to watch people on two sides of a wall - oblivious to each other and looking at the same thing in an entirely different way - talk to each other but not listen. This is especially so when that wall is the border between life and after-life. In the story, we have Enid on one side, who loses someone once important to her - Heuer - without a chance to say a final goodbye. On the other side, we have Heuer whose story, and in some way, life itself unfolds after his death. As I recently expressed to the author in an interview, in a single stroke she introduces us to both our greatest fear and our greatest wish. And as she had then clarified, the very idea leads to the conclusion that there is no first or second chance, nor is there a wall. Everything we experience in the pages of time is in continuum.
A. B. Funkhauser’s likes to play with her narration. She liberally uses non-English phrases, alternates between classy and backstreet lingo, and most pleasingly, embeds past conversations in between the current ones. This fusion aids the above idea. But perhaps the most moving of moments comes when the dead asks God to prove His existence and has his prayers answered almost immediately, at which he frolics, “Yes ! Yes! There is a god!” That joy establishes the fickle unending of our quest for purpose.
The author compels us to make peace with a whole lot of commotion. For, in narrating the psyche of the deceased, she makes us face a choice - to use the time we have in peaceful altruism, or to burn ourselves out in constant churn of tit-for-tat scheming, which will not end even after we die. So from a Bastard’s indifferent generosity, to a Rat’s unconditional love, to an inanimate after-life existence in a Lamp, Ms. Funkauser’s message to us is beautifully laid out. As she states, beauty and elegance is not always spotted or even appreciated even when it’s right in front of your face.
Her ultimate directive can be summed up in one word: Live. But it takes her book to understand how.

Product details

  • Paperback 248 pages
  • Publisher Solstice Publishing (April 23, 2015)
  • Language English
  • ISBN-10 1625262043

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Heuer Lost and Found A B Funkhauser 9781625262042 Books Reviews


I was given this ebook in return for an honest opinion.

I started out a bit confused in reading this. Unlike some who can read for large blocks of time, I couldn’t. The timing threw me off such that I had to go back several times. That said, this book was unique and chock full of character depth.
It definitely makes you have second thoughts about funeral homes, and reminds us – we are all human.
Again – the entire approach to this dilemma of Heuer being stuck between planes was well thought out and well written. I love a good dose of sarcasm mixed with reality. It is obvious the author has extensive experience in the business. Like any other stressful line of work, this field has its own steam release valve in humor.
I’ve not previously read any of this authors books but of the reviews I’ve done and books I’ve read – this is an author to follow.
The only caution I have – though A.B. Funkhauser is a very intelligent author – using a lot of big words tends to frustrate and pull a reader out of the story. I hope to see more of her books soon.
I give this book 5 stars.
Every now and again you come across a treat and this book was as good as chocolate, mostly because of its originality. It takes a serious premise and gives it a light touch. The author is a word technician.
The unusual catalyst? We have a man who dies but is still extremely vocal and active. But if his experiences beyond the Grim Reaper are typical, then I advise you, new readers, to stay in this life – or find some parallel universe.
The writing style is racy with no words wasted. Early example “May had given over to June with its outdoor patios and brain blasting surround sound systems—zesty realities that didn’t always mesh with work.” Midway example “A tall lamp of ancient origin flickered in a large room ahead of him. Piled high with boxes and debris—a compendium of past lives—the space reminded him of a place he’d just come from and was not anxious to see again.” Late example “Heuer looked at his smooth hands—a musician’s hands—with their perfectly tapered fingers filled with music that went unplayed. Peace? There was no peace to be made with Werner.”
It’s all tidily edited and I didn’t keep tripping over typos.
The characters are painted clearly right from the start, not in laborious detail, but in the little hints and the ways in which they do things.
A lot of care, background knowledge and zest with the pen has gone into this book.
The story was very confusing. I didn't finish the book.
It’s not every day a book prompts me to look at the faded photographs of my ancestors and wonder what dreams and challenges tested their lives. Complex and unusual, HEUER LOST AND FOUND is a novel I will remember for a long time.
I'm a little squeamish about death and the squishy innards of people but I had to keep reading through the yuck to get to the meat of the story because that Heuer bastard is fascinating.
I got so much more than I expected out of this novel. I was expecting a gonzo ride on par with Carl Hiassen, but what I got was something just as crazy, but with an emotional wallop. While it took me a few pages to settle into the novel's style, once the eponymous Heuer showed up, there was no turning back. Put this one in the ranks of Christopher Moore... Enid, Charlie, Heuer and crew are worth rooting for!
"Heuer Lost and Found" is filled with surprises and truly original situations. The author takes the reader on a journey that jumps from present to past and into the hereafter. I loved the talking, haunted lamp! This book will appeal to readers who like good writing and a bit of the paranormal. Warning - this novel has explicit descriptions of decomposition and details of the embalming process and tools. Not for the faint of heart.
There’s a sense of detachment to be found in people who deal with the deceased. Life, though, is not without its upheavals as long as one remains within its bounds. So how do you deal with the application of a spicy story to such resigned protagonists? Enter, Ms. Funkhauser with her masterpiece.
To put things in perspective, let us consider a phone call to a funeral house early in the story. It begins with the line “This is Werner Heuer, Herr Forsythe. My wife and I have need of your services today. My son is dead.” Now consider the sentiment of Mr. Forsythe on the other end, depicted a few lines later Charlie, calculating profit after disbursements, felt better already.
The author’s mastery begins with the very element she chooses to play with to pacify the contrast in her story - time. She opens the door at the universally agonizing hour of 9 AM on a Monday, then begins to step back, before we’re suddenly flung back to Day One Postmortem - 15 minutes on. The only constant from then on is subtle versions of time-swing that soaks us in.
It is fascinating to watch people on two sides of a wall - oblivious to each other and looking at the same thing in an entirely different way - talk to each other but not listen. This is especially so when that wall is the border between life and after-life. In the story, we have Enid on one side, who loses someone once important to her - Heuer - without a chance to say a final goodbye. On the other side, we have Heuer whose story, and in some way, life itself unfolds after his death. As I recently expressed to the author in an interview, in a single stroke she introduces us to both our greatest fear and our greatest wish. And as she had then clarified, the very idea leads to the conclusion that there is no first or second chance, nor is there a wall. Everything we experience in the pages of time is in continuum.
A. B. Funkhauser’s likes to play with her narration. She liberally uses non-English phrases, alternates between classy and backstreet lingo, and most pleasingly, embeds past conversations in between the current ones. This fusion aids the above idea. But perhaps the most moving of moments comes when the dead asks God to prove His existence and has his prayers answered almost immediately, at which he frolics, “Yes ! Yes! There is a god!” That joy establishes the fickle unending of our quest for purpose.
The author compels us to make peace with a whole lot of commotion. For, in narrating the psyche of the deceased, she makes us face a choice - to use the time we have in peaceful altruism, or to burn ourselves out in constant churn of tit-for-tat scheming, which will not end even after we die. So from a Bastard’s indifferent generosity, to a Rat’s unconditional love, to an inanimate after-life existence in a Lamp, Ms. Funkauser’s message to us is beautifully laid out. As she states, beauty and elegance is not always spotted or even appreciated even when it’s right in front of your face.
Her ultimate directive can be summed up in one word Live. But it takes her book to understand how.
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